Healing After a Breakup
Updated: Aug 15, 2022
Not all relationships end with bitterness and resentment. We often find ourselves parting ways even though the relationship was a good one but, at some point, the “romantic love” wasn’t there anymore.
Ending things on a good note can stir up feelings that are hard to process. It’s important to focus on healing after a romantic relationship ends so you can move on and live your best life.
Romantic Relationship Ending
A romantic relationship ending is always a confusing time, regardless of how it ends. If you find yourself
confused, hurting, and struggling to move on - you don’t have to handle it alone. People genuinely want to help, and if you have a solid support system around you, lean on them during this transitional period.
Does sinking into a depressive state sound like healing? No. Neither does ceasing the activities you used to enjoy. While it’s OK to feel the pain, you can’t let that pain dictate your life. Understand that it’s no one’s fault when a relationship ends. And guilt tripping yourself won’t do any good.
If you find yourself struggling, it’s OK to seek help. You can still rely on friends and family who are offering a shoulder to cry on but consider counseling to help you process your feelings. Counseling can be the perfect tool to help get you back to what’s important to you, as it will help you heal from previous heartaches, too. Therapy for a breakup can also help you set yourself up for success for future relationships.
How to Heal After a Relationship Ends
When a good relationship ends, many people aren’t quite sure how to overcome the fears and doubts swimming around in their minds. It’s a really big blow to your confidence. The desire to second-guess the relationship and focus on all that wasted time isn’t going to help you heal or move forward.
It wasn’t a Waste of Time.
It helps to remember how happy you were to have met the person and had them in your life for however long you were together. Never regret the time you spent together, because you chose to be with them and loved it. That’s a good thing. They served a purpose in your life just as you served a purpose in theirs. Your time together wasn’t for nothing.
Understanding Why It’s Over Isn’t Necessary
Things end. Life ebbs and flows, and attempting to understand when the love started to change or fade serves no purpose. Neither does stressing about why it ended. All that matters is it ended, and now it’s time to feel your pain, sadness, anger, and accept that the relationship is over. Those feelings are raw right now but they won’t be raw forever.
Feel Your Feelings
It’s okay to feel all the feelings. A counselor can help you wade through the mourning process, because yes, a relationship has ended and it needs to be mourned. There are ways for you to heal without “pushing through” - much less going about it on your own. A professional counselor is the best tool in your “healing after a good relationship ends” arsenal.
Wouldn’t it feel great in your next relationship to feel more free and safe, and be able to confidently express how you feel and have the loving relationships you’ve always wanted? If you jump into counseling following an end to what you feel was a good relationship, you’ll have even more to offer your next romantic partner.
Solid Ground Counseling can help you find new ways to communicate, feel heard, recognize yourself, and reach your relationship goals. It's time to put yourself first. We spend so much time in relationships tending to the needs of someone else but what about your needs? When was the last time you cared about what you needed before someone else's needs? Therapy after a relationship can help with that. It can also help you communicate better, feel heard, and own your identity in your next relationship.
You might be on the fence with whether a therapist can help you and that's normal. But you don't need to struggle with your feelings in private - this is your story and your pain. Your struggle is deeply personal and you can share it with an impartial person who only wants to see you grow - like a therapist. The next chapter of your life is waiting - are you ready for it?